Halfway through the holidays

Since you are always asking for pictures, below is a photo in April of this year. The second photo was taken last week, which marks my five month anniversary since surgery.

November 2010 - 5 months after surgery

April 2010 - 3 months before surgery

 

I’ve lost a total of 78lbs and currently weigh in at 209lbs. I’m making great progress towards my goal of being less than 200lbs by News Year’s Day. It’s going to be really close, but I will take whatever I can get. I finally have a handle on the clothing thing. Since my pants can go from fitting snuggly to falling down within a week, I now have size 16 (which I’m going to have to start wearing now) and 14 in black pants and jeans on reserve in my closet. I’ve decided two pairs of black pants (so they match all my shirts and each worn twice a week) and one pair of jeans is enough to get by. The Christmas sales have helped tremendously. After I get through the 14s, I’m going to have to figure out where to shop. I will be out of the plus size store, and have no idea where I’m supposed to shop. The last time I was that small, my wardrobe came from American Eagle and Abercrombie & Fitch. Pretty sure I’m too old for those stores now.

I made it through Thanksgiving without any problems.  Eli and I did the Boulevard Bolt, which is a five mile walk/run. We walked it and finished in about an hour and a half. I was quite proud of this considering the horrible shape we were both in just five months ago. I could easily get winded just walking up a flight of stairs. I stuck to my diet through both family meal gatherings, with the exception of a little stuffing. The next day I had even lost a little weight.

I just made it through a two-day company retreat. This was the first time I was faced with having no control over my food. They always bring food and have the rest catered, so I had to improvise the best I could. I found out ahead of time what was planned and took my own breakfast, lunch and snack items. Luckily, I was able to eat some of the dinner they provided. It wasn’t fun having candy and tasty treats in the conference rooms the entire time. It also felt weird to be the only one eating a salad out of a Tupperware container while everyone else is standing in line to get pizza, but I made it.

The next challenge will be Christmas and News Years. I’m more nervous about the next couple of weeks rather than the actual holiday. There is always a ton of junk food at the office. Between clients sending gifts, people bringing in items from home and the monthly breakfast and birthday treats, it’s going to be rough. I’m getting better with turning down food, but it gets hard when it’s constantly put in my face. What makes me even more uncomfortable is when people make special accommodations for me.  It’s truly easier if people live their lives as normal. I don’t want people to deprive themselves or to try and hide the fact they are eating something I can’t have.  I have a group of friends and family that I can complain to when it gets hard or I’m frustrated there are cupcakes in the kitchen at work … again.

Sometimes it gets overwhelming and I get extremely frustrated, because I have to constantly think about it. It’s not always as simple as saying, “No.” I always have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. I ultimately decide it’s not worth it to give in, but I have to convince myself. It can be emotionally draining at times, but deep down I’m proud of myself when I make good decisions.

I have a sinus infection right now, which is the first time I’ve been sick since surgery. It was a little difficult to find liquid antibiotics and over the counter medicines I could take, but I got it all figured out with the help of my doctor. Antibiotic pills and Mucinex are all extremely large pills and I can no longer swallow them. Some medicines don’t work if you cut them into smaller pieces. Just another example of how I constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead.  The hardest part is not working out for a couple of days. I’m not used to just sitting around anymore. It’s actually really challenging to do nothing.

I continue to be focused on my goal of being less than 200lbs by New Years. Hopefully, that will give me the willpower to make it though the rest of the holidays. I also have almost three weeks off from work coming up in a couple of weeks, so I will have plenty of time to focus on working out and eating right in order to meet my goal. It will be nice to have some time off and relax. I’ll keep you posted.

I will buy you a new life

The title is a line from one of my favorite songs by Everclear. That’s what I did. I bought myself a new life four months ago.

I have lost 67 lbs and am still going strong. It seems like years since I had my surgery, but it’s only been four short months. I am on track to be below 200 lbs by New Year’s Day. I’m at 220 right now. I am a size 18 in pants; down from my starting size of 26 (yes they make them that big). That’s the first time I’ve made that specific information public. I know it seems that I am know no limits when it comes to sharing, but admitting my pant size was a lot more frightening than my weight for some reason. It will be so nice to shop at a store other than Lane Bryant! It’s awful only having a few stores where you can shop.

Here’s a partial list of things I have not had since before starting the pre-op diet:
• Carbonated beverages
• Candy bars
• Pizza
• Pasta
• Bread
• Chips or crackers

When I see them written out, I can’t believe I’ve had the willpower to fend off all my former favorites. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. Halloween was a regular torture fest. I was super busy and had a stressful week at work, so I already wanted to stuff a whole cake in my face. The company party was stocked full of yummy treats, but I stayed true to my diet and didn’t have even one thing. I’m not looking forward to staying strong and on track during the holidays, but I’m confident I can do it.

I know it’s important to not deprive myself, because one day I might snap and eat my weight in chocolate. To avoid deprivation, I have one treat a month. August I had a few bites of wedding cake (it was so sweet it started making me nauseous). In September I had a half a piece of carrot cake. In October I had 3 oz of frozen yogurt. The point is that I have very little of each treat and it satisfies me.

Working out is truly the key to weight loss. I keep a very strict routine of being active every single day. This usually means going to the gym Monday through Friday and doing something a little less boring on the weekends. This past weekend Eli and I went to Radnor Lake and hiked both days. Sometimes we walk around our neighborhood or I dance like a crazy person to the game Just Dance on Wii. We also play racquetball, and I like taking cardio classes at the YMCA. I’m finally to the point where I like working out. I feel better and more energized if I do. It’s also been quite the stress reliever during a busy couple of months at work.

Your support and encouragement is always very much appreciated. You guys have been my very solid rock so far. I look forward to continuing my journey. Until next time …

I'm still here

Before surgery

Three months after surgery

First things first, I’ve officially lost 53 pounds! My next goal is to be less than 200 pounds by Christmas. 

I had my final band adjustment (hopefully for a while) a couple of weeks ago. The band around my stomach is now pretty tight. I am able to eat about one cup of food at a time. That is not much at all, but I still feel great. This adjustment was quite a bit tighter and has been kind of hard to get used to. I have to do the things I’ve been doing all along, but much better and a little more extreme. I absolutely have to chew all my food up to mush and eat super slow. I have to literally think about every bite I put into my mouth and evaluate when I can swallow. I also have to pay close attention to when I’m full so I don’t eat too much and get sick.

A week after my adjustment, Eli and I took a trip to Destin. I won a week at a fabulous condo from one of the partners at the PR firm I work for. Super generous. Super lucky me. The vacation couldn’t have come at a better time. We were thinking about taking a trip somewhere, but couldn’t decide what to do. Eli and I have both have been working long hours. That paired with all the changes from my surgery has made for little time to spend together. I don’t think either of us realized how much we needed a break until we got there.

What a journey getting there was…

The air conditioning went out about an hour into the trip. We felt it getting warmer, so Eli switched it off to give it a rest. When he did this, we heard a part fall off the car and tumble down the interstate. If you know me, this is not good. I don’t do hot. I then proceed to slightly lose my mind. I did a pretty good job of stomping and throwing a two-year-old-level tantrum (but with a lot more cursing). Poor Eli. At least it wasn’t directed at him, and I eventually figured out I would just have to deal with the heat.

This part gets a little graphic…

It was so hot we decided to hit a drive thru for lunch, instead of getting out of the car. I’m driving and munching on a hamburger patty. All of the sudden I have that awful feeling like I couldn’t breathe. My stomach was clogged. This has only happened a couple of times, but I can usually drink some water and make myself burp to get the food to pass. In a matter of two seconds, I realized this was going to end badly and threw up all my food. It went all over me while I was driving down the interstate. As it was happening, all I could think about was how I had to pull the car over safely. I had to change all my clothes on the side of the interstate. I had a good sobbing pity party for myself, and we got back on the road. So, I survived my first official throwing up incident. It’s a miracle I made it this long.

As soon as we got to Destin, Eli rented tools and bought the parts to fix my AC. He then spent the next four hours working on my car. I can’t tell you how blessed I am to have such a smart and understanding husband.

We then had a fabulous vacation. I made sure to eat breakfast and lunch according to my diet and then loosened the rules a tiny bit for dinner. We made sure to work out every day and I was even able to lose weight. I never thought I would be one of those people who worked out on vacation.

Working out has become a must for me. I don’t feel right if I miss even one day. We try and do something active every day, if possible. We try to add new activities and keep it from getting boring. For example, I bought Just Dance for the Wii. I learned I have no rhythm, but can work up a sweat trying to dance.

I’m also cooking a lot more. I started to get bored with all the food I was eating, so I had to venture out a little. I bought all of George Stella’s cookbooks and use them almost every day. Eating lower carbs has become a way of life and it gets easier all the time. Just tonight I made a homemade pumpkin pie with whipped topping. It’s all homemade; nothing from a box. It’s also low carb with no sugar added.

I’m almost three months out from surgery and am amazed at how my life has changed since then. I look better. I feel better. I’m going to make it!

Updates - All Good

I know it’s been a while since I posted, so I wanted to give you a quick update on everything.
Things have definitely improved since my last post. A couple of health victories:
• My blood pressure is now completely normal.
• I bought pants that are four sizes smaller.
• I was able to discontinue use of my acid reflux medication.
• I have lost a total of 42 pounds!

More good news…
I won a week at a condo in Destin, Fla. from one of the partners at my firm (thanks!), so Eli
and I will be going in a couple of weeks. I’m very excited, because I’m starting to feel like
I need a break from everything. Don’t get me wrong, my life is good and I’m very blessed, but
a break would be very nice. Eli has been working a lot lately, plus we’ve had a lot of things
change in our day to day lives. It will be good to get away together. The condo has a full kitchen,
so I can take a lot of the food I need to eat with me. I will have to relax the rules a little to
accommodate eating out. I also don’t want to have to think about it for every second we’re there.

We joined the YMCA a few weeks ago and have successfully made it a mandatory part of our
routine. We go to the gym Monday through Friday, take Saturday off and play racquetball on
Sundays. I spend a lot of time on the treadmill. I love doing hills and usually ramp the incline
up somewhere between 4 and 10 for most of the time. I usually stay on for 35 minutes, but I’m
working my way towards 45 minutes. I have also been doing some abdominal work and weight
training some days.

I go back to the doctor on September 7. I’m not sure if I will get an adjustment or not. I am
eating the right portion sizes and not getting hungry for a few hours afterward. Also, I’m losing
the right amount of weight. I’m supposed to lose between one and three pounds a week and I’ve
been losing an average of two to three. I can eat about ¾ to 1 cup of food at a time, which may
be the only reason they adjust me. It’s supposed to be closer to ½ a cup at a time, but since I’m
losing weight that may not matter.

Boring to most people news…
The carbohydrate battle is getting better. My surgeon would like for me to keep my carbs below
25g a day. My dietician would like for me to keep them between 25 and 50g a day. I have been
trying to stay as close to 25g as possible, but usually ending up around 30g. For the past week,
I’ve really been concentrating on staying at or below 25g.

Carbohydrates are organic compounds found in foods, which can or cannot be absorbed into
the human body. Examples are: sugars, starches, fats and fibers. If you have no idea what I’m
talking about, I encourage you to look at the amount of carbohydrates on any food or beverage
item you have. I think you will be very surprised at how many are in certain items. I have to try
(and sometimes fail) to not point out to my friends and family how many carbs are in the items
they’re eating. I always hated when people pointed out I was eating crap, and I strive to not be
that person.

Sorry for the delay in posts, but I don’t want to bore you with information you already know.
Photo update will be coming soon … hopefully, from a beach in Florida!

With the good comes the bad

It was bound to happen. I had a bad week.

Apparently, I have a new addiction. Instead of food, I am addicted to the scale. I weight myself
first thing every morning, which is a big no-no in the weight-loss surgery world. For almost two
weeks, I found myself stuck between the same two pounds. I hit a plateau and just couldn’t seem
to move past it. This is frustrating beyond belief!

I started feeling very overwhelmed. I wasn’t losing much weight and felt like a failure. I know
it seems a little soon to have such thoughts, but until now, I’ve been losing weight consistently.

I also had to face my first extended time away from home. A few girlfriends and I were planning
to go on a short overnight trip to Birmingham to attend the wedding of another friend. The idea
of this made me very anxious. I feared having to make quick decisions for more than one meal
in a row. I know I blog about my experience and it seems very public, but my thoughts and
processes for dealing with each situation is very much private. Eli is the only person that truly
understands what is going on and how different situations affect me. I am so grateful to him.

Most of the time, it’s not a big deal. I know what I can and can’t eat. I can usually plan to bring
my own food when there won’t be anything I can eat. I always have a plan. Up until now, I’ve
only had to deal with, at most, one meal away. The problem with this road trip was that I knew
I would have to make quick decisions in front of several people. While this group knows me
very well and understands my surgery, I don’t like being on the spot. I didn’t want to have
to choose all the places we ate, and I like to research establishments before I go to them (if
I haven’t already). This can be a very time consuming process. On top of that, I drink a lot
of water, which means I have to go to the bathroom a lot. We were also planning on sharing
a hotel room, and it was just going to be too much time of me feeling completely exposed.

Well, it all eventually got to me and I canceled. I decided I would drive there and back the same
day and avoid the whole situation. It turned out to be a good decision and only required me to
eat a little out of my comfort zone. I had Eli and another friend of ours to keep me company. I
hate that I had to inconvenience my friends, but I probably wouldn’t have been very much fun
anyways.

The truth is, I’m only six weeks past surgery. I’m still learning and figuring things out. I will
need a little more time to be comfortable in different situations. It’s kind of hard to explain to
someone how much work it takes. It’s a very calculated, well-thought out, obsessive compulsive
process. I did learn that I have to be selfish sometimes. I have to take baby steps, and need to
take it slowly. If something makes me uncomfortable, I need to step back and figure out how to
deal with it instead of trying to force myself to be ok. This change is going to be for the rest of
my life, and that’s not something I feel I should rush.

I had another visit with my surgeon and did a food journal review with my dietician yesterday.
When I shared my frustration, they pretty much laughed at me and explained I couldn’t be doing
anything differently. I’m eating right and working out often. They assured me that my body is
still adjusting and will not lose weight every day. Luckily for me, I had my band tightened which
is followed by 48 hours of liquids. This helped get the weight-loss train moving again. I’m now down 35 pounds! Just two months ago, I was terrified that I was going to reach the 300 lb mark
and now I’m almost less than 250 lbs! This is a BIG deal for me. So, things are looking up, and
my positive attitude is returning.