You want the good news or the bad news first?

First the good: I went to my doctor last week due to some issues I’ve been having. It turns out my PCOS has almost gone away! My symptoms have greatly improved. It turns out the problems that brought me to the doctor are actually all good signs that my PCOS is hitting the road. I always had some doubts that it would improve. I’ve always been given discouraging news regarding the disease, and even doubted I would be able to lose weight with the surgery. But, here I am, almost PCOS free.

More good: This picture was taken this past Saturday at The Limited (obviously). This photo represents my first purchase in eight years at a store that doesn’t specialize in plus sizes. To my surprise (and delight) I was able to wear a size large. I went in thinking I would be an XL, but low and behold, I was a large. I had two fabulous friends (Nicole and Jessi) who provided me with honesty and good judgment. Even the saleswomen were jumping in and bringing me outfits to try on. After about two hours of four people using me like a Barbie, I started to feel a little overwhelmed. It was very weird to be in a regular store buying regular sizes. Sometimes I think I lost weight so fast my mind hasn’t caught up to my actual size. Sometimes I think I will always be fat in my mind.

Well, with the good comes the bad. My two weeks off of work were good to me and my weight loss, but I think I actually ended up setting myself back a bit. I worked so hard during my time off to reach my first goal of being less than 200lbs, I hit a plateau. I’ve only lost about 3lbs in two weeks. This is super disappointing to me, since I’ve been doing so well. I usually lose about 3lbs a week. It especially frustrating because I’ve still been doing everything right as far as my diet goes. I’ve also still been going to the gym five or six days a week. This morning there were donuts at work, and I had to watch everyone eat them during an hour meeting. My treat to myself? I had 15 almonds with my protein shake instead of my usual 10. Tell me you wouldn’t be disappointed when you constantly make decisions like that and don’t see too many results.

Unfortunately, I know what the problem is. I need to work out more. I’ve reached a point where it’s not just the diet. I could get away with 45 minute to an hour workouts before, but I need to do more. My body is getting used to my diet, calorie intake and workouts, so I’ve got to change things up. There’s not a lot I can do about the food thing, but I can change my workouts. It’s not that I necessarily need to workout longer; it’s that I need to do more effective workouts.

I’m meeting with a personal trainer on Wednesday and also attending a bootcamp class on Saturday morning (at 7a.m.!). I know it sounds intense, but now is the time to push myself. I need to tone areas and must work harder to burn fat. My doctor assured me slowing down is normal, but man I don’t want it to. It’s so nice to consistently lose weight, but I’m glad to be doing it right. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I knew all along this point would come, but I’ve been dreading it. I still have 55lbs left until I reach my goal, and it’s going to be much harder than the weight loss before.

New Year

This morning I stepped on the scale and it read 199.6lbs! I have not weighed less than 200lbs in seven years. That means I’ve lost 88lbs since my surgery six months ago.

Unfortunately, I missed my goal to be less than 200lbs by New Years Day by a couple of days, but I came pretty close. I was very disappointed in myself for missing my goal, even if it was just a couple of days. No one seemed to understand my disappointment. I know I’ve been doing well and meeting goals faster than most surgery patients. The point is, I’m extremely goal orientated. I make a goal and I expect to reach it no matter what. If I don’t then I feel like I’ve failed.

I had my six-month check-up with my surgeon a couple of weeks ago. They make you fill out a questionnaire about what and how much you’ve been eating, how much you exercise, etc. While filling it out, I knew I was answering each question with the right answer, and it crossed my mind that they might think I’m lying. My surgeon walks into the room with my questionnaire in his hands and says, “I don’t have anything to say to you.” He went on to explain that a lot of people fill out the questionnaire the same way I did, but they haven’t lost very much weight. Based on my weight loss he knew I wasn’t lying. He told me not to change anything and that I’m doing everything perfectly. His goal for me is still to lose 100lbs in a year. I don’t want to count my chickens before they’re hatched, but I think I can successfully lose 12lbs in 6 months! Hopefully, I can keep doing well and losing and be close to my goal weight of 140lbs on my year anniversary date of June 30. Only 59lbs to go!

Although Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year, I’m not sad to put the holidays behind me this year. I was truly tested on my willpower this year. I indulged in two treats over the holidays; five sausage balls on Christmas Eve and a piece of carrot cake on Christmas Day. It was hard to not eat chocolate, chips and dip and cookies. I even took my own side dish to go with the roast my mother-in-law cooked, because she had potatoes. I didn’t indulge on junk food or alcohol on New Years, which sounds boring (it kind of was), but I made it.

I loved having time off of work, spending time with my husband and family and completing projects around the house. The temptations that surrounded me were not welcomed. It’s a huge decision for me to decide to have even one bad thing for me. It’s all a mind game I have to play. Do I really want it? Do I need it? Will I feel worse if I have a bite? How am I going to feel if I don’t lose weight tomorrow? This is mostly why I only allow myself only one treat a month. It’s much easier. . Fortunately, I never feel the need to overeat, mostly because I physically can’t anymore, but the junk-food gene never goes away. I’ve spent so many years having certain foods during the holidays, so it’s weird to suddenly have to say no I am so lucky to constantly be surrounded by a husband, family and friends that understand my struggles. Even though I’m sure they get sick of hearing about it, their support never wavers.

So this year my resolutions are to continue to be good to my body. I’m also going to do things my weight has previously stopped me from doing. I love finding outlets for all my new energy! I hope you all feel as blessed as I do starting 2011.