Please pardon my gloating as I pat myself on the back for a great week. I’ll start with today and work my way back.
Today my husband was giving me a big hug, squeezed me a little and said, “You seriously feel skinnier.”
On Thursday my company had its annual mid-year retreat. Usually this time is spent brainstorming ideas to improve our company and the jobs we do. This time we were surprised by the partners with an envelope of money and four hours to spend it. After the initial shock, everyone made their way around Nashville to do good for either themselves, loved ones or the community. I still have my money (we were allowed to put it in the bank), but plan to give some away to some friends in need and put the rest towards new clothes. I actually bought a belt this weekend as a desperate attempt to keep my pants a little while longer. They are already a few sizes too big, but I can’t afford to buy new clothes at every size.
I had my first adjustment on Wednesday. It didn’t hurt at all, which is great because I’m a huge baby when it comes to matters of needles and doctors. I’m not a fan of being told to sit up while having a huge needle sticking out of my abdomen, but I couldn’t feel it at all. The worst part about having my band tightened is that I had to be on a liquid diet for 48 hours. It was pretty miserable, but I survived.
I met with with my dietician and surgeon and they were both so proud of the work I’ve been doing. I’m eating the right food, getting exercise and keeping a very detailed food journal. My surgeons exact words were, “You’re doing everything perfectly.” I’m happy to report I’ve lost 30 pounds!
The band didn’t have any saline in it before (due to the stomach swelling during surgery), so I didn’t have a lot of restriction when it came to the amount I could fit in my stomach. The doctor warned me this would be the case and encouraged me to still try and stick to the correct portions. So, I was eating the recommended portion size this whole time, but I was getting hungry between meals. The goal is to be adjusted just right, so you are eating the correct portion size and not getting hungry between meals.
The best part is that I feel good about the decisions I’m making. It’s not always easy to eat right. In fact, I had a run-in with a cake on Monday that was pretty difficult to walk away from. Once it was gone and not in my face, I didn’t miss it. I try to remember that it’s probably going to make me feel worse after than it would to give in and have a little. So far, I’ve been right. It is truly one day, one decision and one meal at a time. I think and plan and even strategize to make sure I meet my goals.
Going into this next week, I’m back to my normal routine and feeling great. Picture update coming soon!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I can see clearly now
I have nothing but good news to report this week. I went back to the eye doctor discouraged and tired of looking like a pirate. My eye crossing had not improved. He told me to discontinue using the patch, and he changed the strength of my contacts. As weird as it sounds, the magic cure was to make the power of my left contact weaker. I can still see as well as I used to, and my eye is crossing less and less every day. There is a bunch of medical stuff I could tell you to explain the why and how, but I don’t want to and it’s boring. All that matters is it couldn’t have been avoided, and it’s getting better.
I started a regular exercise routine this week. Well, it’s exercise to me. Eli and I started going for walks in the neighborhood every day. It’s got quite a few inclines. It’s not marathon training, but it gets my heart rate up, and that’s what matters right now. I also got an elliptical machine and use it several times a week. I can only do about 10 steady minutes right now, but I will work my way up. My goal is to get where I can do 45 minutes to an hour of cardio without feeling like I’m dying. Once my incisions heal, we are going to start going to the gym and incorporating weights into our workouts. I will also be investing in a personal trainer to help me stay on track and do the right exercises. . I am trying to surround myself with the best support group possible. I have a nutritionist, doctors and amazing family and friends. I think adding a trainer will help me complete the transformation.
It’s very important to me that I tone while I lose weight. It sounds gross, but obese people have a lot of extra skin. I want to incorporate enough weights to help me tone my body and help me avoid having sagging skin. Luckily, I’m young and my skin still has a lot of elasticity. Also, I’m not quite overweight enough that it should be a big problem
The diet is going extremely well. The only problem I have is staying within my allotted carbohydrates. I’m supposed to stay at 25g a day, but so far I tend to be hovering around 30g. It doesn’t sound like much, but I want to follow all the rules as closely as possible. The good news is that I’m going over in carbs because of fruits and vegetables. My band adjustment next week should take care of this issue. Once I have the band tightened a little bit, I will be eating a little less than I am now. Plus, I have kept a very detailed food journal, so my nutritionist will be able to tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.
I don’t feel deprived and enjoy everything I’m allowed to eat. We decided, as part of new health and financial plans, we would only eat out once a week. We went to a hibachi grill tonight and shared a dinner. I skipped the soup and rice and had a salad, vegetables and chicken. We both had plenty of food (both had to-go boxes) and we only spent half of what we usually do. I even allowed myself to have the small scoop of ice cream that comes with the meal. It was the first dessert I’ve had in weeks. I came home and promptly researched the nutrition information on everything I ate, so I wouldn’t miss a beat in my food journal. Even with eating out, I stayed within my dietary requirements. It was so rewarding to have a good meal out and still stick to my diet.
I was even faced with dining out temptations twice this week, and made the right decisions. A few friends went to lunch, and I went, but took a snack to have while they were dining. Once we got back to the office, I had the salad I brought for the day. A group went out on Friday, and I stayed behind. Partly because I was really busy at work, but mostly because I wanted to stick to my diet plan. I can eat out rather easily, but it’s harder to track the carbs and protein I’m getting. Plus it takes me a long time to eat, because I have to chew my food so thoroughly. Right now, it’s too hard to hold a conversation and eat within a decent amount of time.
The hardest part is convincing people I’m ok. If I really want to eat something, I can. If I really want to go out for a meal, I will. I can find something I can eat no matter where I go. I don’t stay behind or not eat because I can’t. I do it because I don’t feel deprived. If it’s not going to make a difference to me one way or the other, I would much rather stick to the foods I already know the nutritional information for and have weighed ahead of time. I actually feel better about myself when I make a good decision.
So that’s what I learned this week; making good decisions makes me feel better than eating junk food. I really hope that continues happening. I’m sure there will be many temptations and rough spots, but I’m trying to remain positive. For the first time in my life I’m reading labels and really paying attention to what I put in my body.
I started a regular exercise routine this week. Well, it’s exercise to me. Eli and I started going for walks in the neighborhood every day. It’s got quite a few inclines. It’s not marathon training, but it gets my heart rate up, and that’s what matters right now. I also got an elliptical machine and use it several times a week. I can only do about 10 steady minutes right now, but I will work my way up. My goal is to get where I can do 45 minutes to an hour of cardio without feeling like I’m dying. Once my incisions heal, we are going to start going to the gym and incorporating weights into our workouts. I will also be investing in a personal trainer to help me stay on track and do the right exercises. . I am trying to surround myself with the best support group possible. I have a nutritionist, doctors and amazing family and friends. I think adding a trainer will help me complete the transformation.
It’s very important to me that I tone while I lose weight. It sounds gross, but obese people have a lot of extra skin. I want to incorporate enough weights to help me tone my body and help me avoid having sagging skin. Luckily, I’m young and my skin still has a lot of elasticity. Also, I’m not quite overweight enough that it should be a big problem
The diet is going extremely well. The only problem I have is staying within my allotted carbohydrates. I’m supposed to stay at 25g a day, but so far I tend to be hovering around 30g. It doesn’t sound like much, but I want to follow all the rules as closely as possible. The good news is that I’m going over in carbs because of fruits and vegetables. My band adjustment next week should take care of this issue. Once I have the band tightened a little bit, I will be eating a little less than I am now. Plus, I have kept a very detailed food journal, so my nutritionist will be able to tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.
I don’t feel deprived and enjoy everything I’m allowed to eat. We decided, as part of new health and financial plans, we would only eat out once a week. We went to a hibachi grill tonight and shared a dinner. I skipped the soup and rice and had a salad, vegetables and chicken. We both had plenty of food (both had to-go boxes) and we only spent half of what we usually do. I even allowed myself to have the small scoop of ice cream that comes with the meal. It was the first dessert I’ve had in weeks. I came home and promptly researched the nutrition information on everything I ate, so I wouldn’t miss a beat in my food journal. Even with eating out, I stayed within my dietary requirements. It was so rewarding to have a good meal out and still stick to my diet.
I was even faced with dining out temptations twice this week, and made the right decisions. A few friends went to lunch, and I went, but took a snack to have while they were dining. Once we got back to the office, I had the salad I brought for the day. A group went out on Friday, and I stayed behind. Partly because I was really busy at work, but mostly because I wanted to stick to my diet plan. I can eat out rather easily, but it’s harder to track the carbs and protein I’m getting. Plus it takes me a long time to eat, because I have to chew my food so thoroughly. Right now, it’s too hard to hold a conversation and eat within a decent amount of time.
The hardest part is convincing people I’m ok. If I really want to eat something, I can. If I really want to go out for a meal, I will. I can find something I can eat no matter where I go. I don’t stay behind or not eat because I can’t. I do it because I don’t feel deprived. If it’s not going to make a difference to me one way or the other, I would much rather stick to the foods I already know the nutritional information for and have weighed ahead of time. I actually feel better about myself when I make a good decision.
So that’s what I learned this week; making good decisions makes me feel better than eating junk food. I really hope that continues happening. I’m sure there will be many temptations and rough spots, but I’m trying to remain positive. For the first time in my life I’m reading labels and really paying attention to what I put in my body.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Adjustments
Well, my eye hasn’t improved at all, but my stomach is doing just fine. I go back to the eye doctor on Tuesday to find out what the next steps are. More than likely, I will need to get some sort of glasses to help my eye from crossing. I’m trying very hard to stay positive about this turn of events. I must admit it’s hard with all the random bad headaches I’ve been getting from straining my one good eye. It’s also frustrating because I would otherwise be feeling relatively normal right now.
Let’s forget about the eye situation for just a minute and talk about my surgery recovery.
My daily life has forever changed, but I think it will slowly start to feel normal. For instance, I now have to weigh everything I eat. This is mostly to make sure I eat the proper portions, but it’s also because I have to keep a journal of my food intake. I know how much my new stomach can hold, so if I weigh out my portions I can be sure I’m not getting too much or too little food.
For those of you who don’t know, my band is managed by saline. My band has a plastic layer on the inside, which is the part touching my stomach. Connected to the band is a plastic tube which leads to my port. The port was sewn into some muscle right under my breastbone during the operation. You can’t see it, but I can feel it right under my skin. The doctor can control how tight or loose the band is by putting a needle into my port and inserting or removing saline. It usually takes a few adjustments to get the band to an optimum level. This means I don’t have any problem getting food down, I’m not able to eat too much and I’m losing a healthy amount of weight each week.
The doctor uses my food journal and compares it to the amount of weight I’ve lost. He can tell if I’m eating the wrong items or if my band needs to be adjusted. Too loose and I will be able to eat a lot and feel hungry. Too tight and I won’t be able to eat enough to get proper nutrition. The food journal is not meant to make me feel guilty or for the doctor to berate me if I make a mistake. It’s really helpful during this time when I’m trying to figure out how I’m supposed to be eating. Nonetheless, it’s kind of daunting to know someone will be looking at every morsel I put in my mouth.
Because adjustments tend to irritate the stomach a little bit, you can only have them about once a month. They are supposed to be pretty painless. Inserting the needle into my port should feel like getting a flu shot. I will have to be on liquids and mushy food for two days following each adjustment, which is the worst part. I will be going for my first adjustment in a week and a half.
I think I’m doing well as far as food intake goes. I’m eating the recommended amount of ounces, protein and carbs. I don’t feel stuffed or sick when I’m done, but I’m satisfied and not hungry. It feels weird, but I think somewhere in my mind I thought I would feel deprived and hungry all the time. I think part of it is the fact that I can eat foods that actually taste good. I’m supposed to eat a lot of meat (for protein) and less than 25g of carbs. My favorite foods right now are BBQ chicken baked in the oven, turkey sausage, salads with grilled chicken, broccoli, green beans, strawberries and cantaloupe.
I don’t want to give the impression that this has all been rainbows and puppies. I still have random bouts of feeling nauseous and my incision sites are still sore. Plus, I must think about every bite I put in my mouth. It’s been a lot of hard work, but so far, well worth it. It feels so good knowing that I’m doing something positive for myself.
Let’s forget about the eye situation for just a minute and talk about my surgery recovery.
My daily life has forever changed, but I think it will slowly start to feel normal. For instance, I now have to weigh everything I eat. This is mostly to make sure I eat the proper portions, but it’s also because I have to keep a journal of my food intake. I know how much my new stomach can hold, so if I weigh out my portions I can be sure I’m not getting too much or too little food.
For those of you who don’t know, my band is managed by saline. My band has a plastic layer on the inside, which is the part touching my stomach. Connected to the band is a plastic tube which leads to my port. The port was sewn into some muscle right under my breastbone during the operation. You can’t see it, but I can feel it right under my skin. The doctor can control how tight or loose the band is by putting a needle into my port and inserting or removing saline. It usually takes a few adjustments to get the band to an optimum level. This means I don’t have any problem getting food down, I’m not able to eat too much and I’m losing a healthy amount of weight each week.
The doctor uses my food journal and compares it to the amount of weight I’ve lost. He can tell if I’m eating the wrong items or if my band needs to be adjusted. Too loose and I will be able to eat a lot and feel hungry. Too tight and I won’t be able to eat enough to get proper nutrition. The food journal is not meant to make me feel guilty or for the doctor to berate me if I make a mistake. It’s really helpful during this time when I’m trying to figure out how I’m supposed to be eating. Nonetheless, it’s kind of daunting to know someone will be looking at every morsel I put in my mouth.
Because adjustments tend to irritate the stomach a little bit, you can only have them about once a month. They are supposed to be pretty painless. Inserting the needle into my port should feel like getting a flu shot. I will have to be on liquids and mushy food for two days following each adjustment, which is the worst part. I will be going for my first adjustment in a week and a half.
I think I’m doing well as far as food intake goes. I’m eating the recommended amount of ounces, protein and carbs. I don’t feel stuffed or sick when I’m done, but I’m satisfied and not hungry. It feels weird, but I think somewhere in my mind I thought I would feel deprived and hungry all the time. I think part of it is the fact that I can eat foods that actually taste good. I’m supposed to eat a lot of meat (for protein) and less than 25g of carbs. My favorite foods right now are BBQ chicken baked in the oven, turkey sausage, salads with grilled chicken, broccoli, green beans, strawberries and cantaloupe.
I don’t want to give the impression that this has all been rainbows and puppies. I still have random bouts of feeling nauseous and my incision sites are still sore. Plus, I must think about every bite I put in my mouth. It’s been a lot of hard work, but so far, well worth it. It feels so good knowing that I’m doing something positive for myself.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Healing
I am almost a week out from surgery, and feeling better every day. I have been trying to settle into my new life. Sorry I haven’t posted until now, but I have had some vision problems preventing me from using the computer too much.
After surgery, I noticed that my left eye was crossing, making it hard to see and causing bad headaches. I had eye surgery when I was a baby due to crossing eyes. My left eye has never been that strong, and I don’t see very well out of it anyways. Contacts help, but if I get really tired, my eye will cross.
I decided to go to the doctor today, because it seemed to be getting worse. Apparently, the anesthesia relaxed my eye muscles a little too much and my eye isn't strong enough to fix itself. I have to wear a big pirate patch over my eye for the next week. There is a chance the patch won’t help. If it doesn’t, I may have to start wearing glasses or have another eye surgery. The doctor thinks this probably would have happened eventually, but much more slowly.
I’m very frustrated, because my healing has been going quite well. It seems every time I have something done, there is some random complication. Sometimes I wish things would just go normally.
In other surgery-related news…
I am happy to say I am eating solid food again. I get full really easily and stay that way for a long time. A 4 once chicken breast and some broccoli can make me feel like I just celebrated Thanksgiving. I am really not exaggerating. I have to learn what being hungry and full feel like, which is way more difficult than it sounds. I’m so used to eating until I feel satisfied, which is way different than being full. I tend to eat at 8 a.m., noon and around 7 p.m. So far, I haven’t felt the need to have snacks between meals.
I have to drink a lot of water, which is tricky because I can only sip it. I literally sit around with a water bottle in my hands and sip it all the time. I can tell when I haven’t had enough and I start to feel gross. My body needs all the nutrients it can get, so I have to work hard to not deprive myself of necessities like water and vitamins.
I haven’t gotten sick once. Apparently, this is quite an accomplishment. I almost lost that battle today. I had some steamed broccoli and carrots for lunch. After I was done, I had this pain in my chest like I had swallowed a tortilla chip with sharp edges. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and kept getting waves of nausea. I thought I had really messed up. I was even sitting next to the toilet. I took really small sips of water, and it passed about ten minutes later. My stomach opening is about the size of a pencil. I have to take very small bites, chew carefully and eat slowly. I’m not sure which rule I broke, but it was not fun. Did I mention if I do get sick I have to go back to liquids for two days?
I haven’t weighed myself in days, because I am supposed to be healing and getting used to my new way of eating. I also will not start working out until tomorrow. By work out, I mean walking. No lifting and anything too strenuous for the first few weeks.
I am ready to get the weight loss going, but know it’s important to heal properly. Patience is a virtue I wasn’t blessed with too much of, but I’m learning.
After surgery, I noticed that my left eye was crossing, making it hard to see and causing bad headaches. I had eye surgery when I was a baby due to crossing eyes. My left eye has never been that strong, and I don’t see very well out of it anyways. Contacts help, but if I get really tired, my eye will cross.
I decided to go to the doctor today, because it seemed to be getting worse. Apparently, the anesthesia relaxed my eye muscles a little too much and my eye isn't strong enough to fix itself. I have to wear a big pirate patch over my eye for the next week. There is a chance the patch won’t help. If it doesn’t, I may have to start wearing glasses or have another eye surgery. The doctor thinks this probably would have happened eventually, but much more slowly.
I’m very frustrated, because my healing has been going quite well. It seems every time I have something done, there is some random complication. Sometimes I wish things would just go normally.
In other surgery-related news…
I am happy to say I am eating solid food again. I get full really easily and stay that way for a long time. A 4 once chicken breast and some broccoli can make me feel like I just celebrated Thanksgiving. I am really not exaggerating. I have to learn what being hungry and full feel like, which is way more difficult than it sounds. I’m so used to eating until I feel satisfied, which is way different than being full. I tend to eat at 8 a.m., noon and around 7 p.m. So far, I haven’t felt the need to have snacks between meals.
I have to drink a lot of water, which is tricky because I can only sip it. I literally sit around with a water bottle in my hands and sip it all the time. I can tell when I haven’t had enough and I start to feel gross. My body needs all the nutrients it can get, so I have to work hard to not deprive myself of necessities like water and vitamins.
I haven’t gotten sick once. Apparently, this is quite an accomplishment. I almost lost that battle today. I had some steamed broccoli and carrots for lunch. After I was done, I had this pain in my chest like I had swallowed a tortilla chip with sharp edges. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and kept getting waves of nausea. I thought I had really messed up. I was even sitting next to the toilet. I took really small sips of water, and it passed about ten minutes later. My stomach opening is about the size of a pencil. I have to take very small bites, chew carefully and eat slowly. I’m not sure which rule I broke, but it was not fun. Did I mention if I do get sick I have to go back to liquids for two days?
I haven’t weighed myself in days, because I am supposed to be healing and getting used to my new way of eating. I also will not start working out until tomorrow. By work out, I mean walking. No lifting and anything too strenuous for the first few weeks.
I am ready to get the weight loss going, but know it’s important to heal properly. Patience is a virtue I wasn’t blessed with too much of, but I’m learning.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
We begin
Before surgery, I spoke with my surgeon about how good I did on my pre-op diet. I lost 20 lbs in the last two weeks. He seemed very surprised that I stuck to it, because most people usually don’t make it. He said he has nothing but high hopes for me, because I’ve proven I have willpower. Lucky for me I am very stubborn. I also have issues with paying $12,000 dollars for something and screwing it up. It is going to be weird to only lose 1 to 3 lbs a week, when I’ve lost so much so fast.
I’m feeling as good as can be expected. I am very sore and have quite bit of pain right now. I have six incisions all spread out over my stomach. My entire stomach is sore and feels bruised. They pumped my abdomen with carbon dioxide, so make it swell and give them room to work. It takes about 48 hours for it to absorb into my body. During this time, it is very uncomfortable, and makes my chest and shoulder really sore. I’m told this is normal.
I’m supposed to walk around every 30 minutes to avoid blood clots. When I stand up, gravity takes over and my stitches feel very stretched. My throat is still very sore, making it hard to talk. They had to put a breathing tube down my throat to protect my airway in case anything went wrong. After I woke up they took me to get an x-ray. They made me drink barium as they were taking the x-ray to make sure the band isn’t too tight.
Eli has to help me a lot. Getting up from the sitting position is the worst. I never knew how much you use your abdominal muscles to do things. I had to sleep in the recliner last night because it was killing me to lay completely flat on my back. Sweet Eli slept on the couch so he could be close to me if I needed anything.
I am still on all liquids, because my stomach is swollen from the surgery. Right now it is about the size a walnut. Once healed it will be the size of an egg. I get to start eating soft foods tomorrow. Things like chicken and tuna salad and pimento cheese. In a few more days I will start trying to eat normal solid food like chicken, fish and vegetables. Unfortunately, everybody handles food differently. It will be trial and error as I move along and try to figure out what not to eat. Some stuff may just make me uncomfortable and some stuff may make me vomit.
After my stomach heals the opening will be about the size of a pencil, so it’s important to take small bites and chew very well. It is possible to clog my stomach opening, which could result in pain and vomiting. Until I learn how small of bites I need, I will be using a baby spoon. Sounds silly, but it’s recommended, and I’m for anything to help me avoid getting sick.
I will be eating a lot of meat and vegetables, because they have the most protein and will keep me full. I am supposed to avoid foods that are high in sugar and carbohydrates. At the same time, I’m not supposed to be on a diet. It’s all about making right decisions. This is something I will have for the rest of my life, so it’s important to not deprive myself of things. I can still have cake, but I will only eat a few bites instead of a whole piece. Of course, I can’t eat junk every day. I will be eating about a cup and a half of food a day. I used to eat that much cereal for breakfast. Big change. I will be cleared to start exercising in a few weeks, so the plan is to work out more and sit in front of the TV less.
This will serve as my before picture. I will post a new photo every month. Weight today is 266 lbs.
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