I tend to use my posts as a way to update everyone. I try to be as honest as I can, but I usually only feel like posting when something good happens. This means my posts are generally positive, which is not quite an accurate account of me. I tend to be a pessimist. You know; the glass half empty type.
I’m officially experiencing a slow-down with my weight loss. I’m only losing about a 1lb a week right now. This is probably just what it’s going to be like now that I have the major part of my weight off. There are many other reasons this could be happening, and I’m told it’s completely normal by my trainer and my nutritionist. That doesn’t make it any easier. It sucks. I hate it.
It’s annoying that I’m so close to the 100lb mark, only 1lb away to be exact. At the 100lb mark, I will weigh 187 and no longer be considered obese. The 100lb goal was set by my surgeon, and he wanted me to reach it within a year. It’s been almost eight months, so I feel good about that. I will soon join the overweight club and hang out there until I lose 40lbs and join the healthy weight club. 40lbs seems a million miles away.
I started attending a fitness boot camp two weeks ago. Against everything that’s normal to me, I get up four days a week at 4:45 a.m. to make it to a 5:15 a.m. class. During this class, I push myself harder than I ever have. The last time (before surgery) I worked out on a regular basis was when I was in ROTC and on the track team in high school. I’m sore all over, which is a surprisingly good feeling. It reminds me that I’m doing some good. I love the way it makes me feel the rest of the day. Plus, it’s extra nice to not have to worry about going to work out after work.
I’m extremely busy at work right now, which is great, but it’s been a challenge trying to balance everything. I’m getting up so early and working so late, I only get about an hour of time to myself between getting off work and getting in the bed. This is challenging when I have to cook dinner and plan lunch for the next day. I’m often too tired to cook, so I’ve been trying to find faster meals. This is not always easy when you’re eating healthy. It sure would be easy to pick up food from somewhere on my way home, but I’ve been fighting the urge so far. I like being busy for a number of reasons. I feel useful, less stressed and it gives me less time to think about surgery-related things.
Perhaps the biggest challenge right now is my travel schedule. I love that I get the opportunity to go to places I’ve never been. Traveling for work always consists of busy long days, but it’s usually very rewarding. Even with the challenges traveling presents, I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s important that I learn to navigate certain obstacles, especially traveling. I usually travel a lot, so I’m glad I get to try it out without the comfort of having Eli or my normal foods around me.
Last week I spent a couple of days in Kentucky for a photo shoot. Everything was going fine until I was having lunch with a colleague and our client contact. I was enjoying my salad when all of the sudden my stomach was clogged. This happens when I eat too fast and don’t chew my food up well enough. With the band, my stomach opening is so small, so I have to be very careful. Sometimes I can pause, take a few sips of water and the food will pass. This was not working. I excused myself to the restroom, and started my process of clearing my stomach. It’s not fun and it’s gross. It involves trying to make myself burp, which helps the stomach try to get the food through. If burping doesn’t work, then my body automatically throws the food up. During all of this it feels like I’m having a heart attack. My chest gets real tight, and it’s hard to breath. The good news is throwing up provides instant relief. The bad news is, it sometimes take 5 or 10 minutes for this whole process. I was terrified that someone would come into the bathroom. Luckily, no one did and I was finally able to clear my stomach and return to the table after about five minutes. It was mortifying to me, but I don’t think anyone even knew there was something wrong. I’ve only had to throw up three times since surgery, but it’s awful every time.
This week I’m heading to Montana for six days. This will be the first time I’m completely traveling by air for a long period of time since surgery. We went to Florida in September, but we drove and I took my food with me. I know this will be a learning experience, and I’ll be better off for figuring out how to stick to my diet while traveling, but it still causes me some anxiety. This trip is going to be challenging for a couple of reasons.
First, it’s weird traveling with someone who doesn’t live with my habits day in and day out. I think the only reason this is scary is because I feel strange about some of the everyday challenges I face. For example, I have to eat slow and drink a lot of water throughout the day, which causes me to take a lot of bathroom breaks. Not to mention I eat weird. It’s hard for some people to understand my diet. I can’t just eat any fruit or vegetable, because of the carb contents. Not to mention, I simply can’t have some foods at all, because my stomach opening is too small.
Second, I will be trying to eat three meals a day on the road. I like to research menus and places before going anywhere. I’m going to be in some very rural areas without much Internet access. I’ll have to wing it quite a bit, which is not good for this OCD planner
Third, I will have a hard time working out. I made sure my hotels have a fitness center. My trainer sent me a workout schedule, and I have a Jillian Michaels DVD to work out to. This is the plan, but we’ll see how well I stick to it. Days on the road tend to be really long. The good news is that I’ll be doing a lot of walking during the day, so that will help.
I’ve been having a lot of moments where I realize this is my life now. All the difficulties I have are not going to suddenly go away any time soon. I will have this band forever. I know I will figure things out and it will be more normal, but eight months is not enough time for me to feel comfortable and normal all the time. I constantly have to think and plan my days, and then I have to be prepared with back-up plans. This last 40lbs is going to be much harder than all the weight I’ve lost so far. I have good days and bad days, but mostly good. I feel better and more energized, and love how I feel with so much weight off of me. In fact, I’m writing this while on an airplane. I didn’t have to loosen my seat belt all the way or ask for an extender. I also have room to have my tray down and my laptop out. This is a huge victory to me!
I’m transitioning from the thrill of dramatic weight loss into the rest of my life. It’s all part of the journey, so I’m trying to embrace each victory and challenge.
