I know it’s been a while since I posted, so I wanted to give you a quick update on everything.
Things have definitely improved since my last post. A couple of health victories:
• My blood pressure is now completely normal.
• I bought pants that are four sizes smaller.
• I was able to discontinue use of my acid reflux medication.
• I have lost a total of 42 pounds!
More good news…
I won a week at a condo in Destin, Fla. from one of the partners at my firm (thanks!), so Eli
and I will be going in a couple of weeks. I’m very excited, because I’m starting to feel like
I need a break from everything. Don’t get me wrong, my life is good and I’m very blessed, but
a break would be very nice. Eli has been working a lot lately, plus we’ve had a lot of things
change in our day to day lives. It will be good to get away together. The condo has a full kitchen,
so I can take a lot of the food I need to eat with me. I will have to relax the rules a little to
accommodate eating out. I also don’t want to have to think about it for every second we’re there.
We joined the YMCA a few weeks ago and have successfully made it a mandatory part of our
routine. We go to the gym Monday through Friday, take Saturday off and play racquetball on
Sundays. I spend a lot of time on the treadmill. I love doing hills and usually ramp the incline
up somewhere between 4 and 10 for most of the time. I usually stay on for 35 minutes, but I’m
working my way towards 45 minutes. I have also been doing some abdominal work and weight
training some days.
I go back to the doctor on September 7. I’m not sure if I will get an adjustment or not. I am
eating the right portion sizes and not getting hungry for a few hours afterward. Also, I’m losing
the right amount of weight. I’m supposed to lose between one and three pounds a week and I’ve
been losing an average of two to three. I can eat about ¾ to 1 cup of food at a time, which may
be the only reason they adjust me. It’s supposed to be closer to ½ a cup at a time, but since I’m
losing weight that may not matter.
Boring to most people news…
The carbohydrate battle is getting better. My surgeon would like for me to keep my carbs below
25g a day. My dietician would like for me to keep them between 25 and 50g a day. I have been
trying to stay as close to 25g as possible, but usually ending up around 30g. For the past week,
I’ve really been concentrating on staying at or below 25g.
Carbohydrates are organic compounds found in foods, which can or cannot be absorbed into
the human body. Examples are: sugars, starches, fats and fibers. If you have no idea what I’m
talking about, I encourage you to look at the amount of carbohydrates on any food or beverage
item you have. I think you will be very surprised at how many are in certain items. I have to try
(and sometimes fail) to not point out to my friends and family how many carbs are in the items
they’re eating. I always hated when people pointed out I was eating crap, and I strive to not be
that person.
Sorry for the delay in posts, but I don’t want to bore you with information you already know.
Photo update will be coming soon … hopefully, from a beach in Florida!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
With the good comes the bad
It was bound to happen. I had a bad week.
Apparently, I have a new addiction. Instead of food, I am addicted to the scale. I weight myself
first thing every morning, which is a big no-no in the weight-loss surgery world. For almost two
weeks, I found myself stuck between the same two pounds. I hit a plateau and just couldn’t seem
to move past it. This is frustrating beyond belief!
I started feeling very overwhelmed. I wasn’t losing much weight and felt like a failure. I know
it seems a little soon to have such thoughts, but until now, I’ve been losing weight consistently.
I also had to face my first extended time away from home. A few girlfriends and I were planning
to go on a short overnight trip to Birmingham to attend the wedding of another friend. The idea
of this made me very anxious. I feared having to make quick decisions for more than one meal
in a row. I know I blog about my experience and it seems very public, but my thoughts and
processes for dealing with each situation is very much private. Eli is the only person that truly
understands what is going on and how different situations affect me. I am so grateful to him.
Most of the time, it’s not a big deal. I know what I can and can’t eat. I can usually plan to bring
my own food when there won’t be anything I can eat. I always have a plan. Up until now, I’ve
only had to deal with, at most, one meal away. The problem with this road trip was that I knew
I would have to make quick decisions in front of several people. While this group knows me
very well and understands my surgery, I don’t like being on the spot. I didn’t want to have
to choose all the places we ate, and I like to research establishments before I go to them (if
I haven’t already). This can be a very time consuming process. On top of that, I drink a lot
of water, which means I have to go to the bathroom a lot. We were also planning on sharing
a hotel room, and it was just going to be too much time of me feeling completely exposed.
Well, it all eventually got to me and I canceled. I decided I would drive there and back the same
day and avoid the whole situation. It turned out to be a good decision and only required me to
eat a little out of my comfort zone. I had Eli and another friend of ours to keep me company. I
hate that I had to inconvenience my friends, but I probably wouldn’t have been very much fun
anyways.
The truth is, I’m only six weeks past surgery. I’m still learning and figuring things out. I will
need a little more time to be comfortable in different situations. It’s kind of hard to explain to
someone how much work it takes. It’s a very calculated, well-thought out, obsessive compulsive
process. I did learn that I have to be selfish sometimes. I have to take baby steps, and need to
take it slowly. If something makes me uncomfortable, I need to step back and figure out how to
deal with it instead of trying to force myself to be ok. This change is going to be for the rest of
my life, and that’s not something I feel I should rush.
I had another visit with my surgeon and did a food journal review with my dietician yesterday.
When I shared my frustration, they pretty much laughed at me and explained I couldn’t be doing
anything differently. I’m eating right and working out often. They assured me that my body is
still adjusting and will not lose weight every day. Luckily for me, I had my band tightened which
is followed by 48 hours of liquids. This helped get the weight-loss train moving again. I’m now down 35 pounds! Just two months ago, I was terrified that I was going to reach the 300 lb mark
and now I’m almost less than 250 lbs! This is a BIG deal for me. So, things are looking up, and
my positive attitude is returning.
Apparently, I have a new addiction. Instead of food, I am addicted to the scale. I weight myself
first thing every morning, which is a big no-no in the weight-loss surgery world. For almost two
weeks, I found myself stuck between the same two pounds. I hit a plateau and just couldn’t seem
to move past it. This is frustrating beyond belief!
I started feeling very overwhelmed. I wasn’t losing much weight and felt like a failure. I know
it seems a little soon to have such thoughts, but until now, I’ve been losing weight consistently.
I also had to face my first extended time away from home. A few girlfriends and I were planning
to go on a short overnight trip to Birmingham to attend the wedding of another friend. The idea
of this made me very anxious. I feared having to make quick decisions for more than one meal
in a row. I know I blog about my experience and it seems very public, but my thoughts and
processes for dealing with each situation is very much private. Eli is the only person that truly
understands what is going on and how different situations affect me. I am so grateful to him.
Most of the time, it’s not a big deal. I know what I can and can’t eat. I can usually plan to bring
my own food when there won’t be anything I can eat. I always have a plan. Up until now, I’ve
only had to deal with, at most, one meal away. The problem with this road trip was that I knew
I would have to make quick decisions in front of several people. While this group knows me
very well and understands my surgery, I don’t like being on the spot. I didn’t want to have
to choose all the places we ate, and I like to research establishments before I go to them (if
I haven’t already). This can be a very time consuming process. On top of that, I drink a lot
of water, which means I have to go to the bathroom a lot. We were also planning on sharing
a hotel room, and it was just going to be too much time of me feeling completely exposed.
Well, it all eventually got to me and I canceled. I decided I would drive there and back the same
day and avoid the whole situation. It turned out to be a good decision and only required me to
eat a little out of my comfort zone. I had Eli and another friend of ours to keep me company. I
hate that I had to inconvenience my friends, but I probably wouldn’t have been very much fun
anyways.
The truth is, I’m only six weeks past surgery. I’m still learning and figuring things out. I will
need a little more time to be comfortable in different situations. It’s kind of hard to explain to
someone how much work it takes. It’s a very calculated, well-thought out, obsessive compulsive
process. I did learn that I have to be selfish sometimes. I have to take baby steps, and need to
take it slowly. If something makes me uncomfortable, I need to step back and figure out how to
deal with it instead of trying to force myself to be ok. This change is going to be for the rest of
my life, and that’s not something I feel I should rush.
I had another visit with my surgeon and did a food journal review with my dietician yesterday.
When I shared my frustration, they pretty much laughed at me and explained I couldn’t be doing
anything differently. I’m eating right and working out often. They assured me that my body is
still adjusting and will not lose weight every day. Luckily for me, I had my band tightened which
is followed by 48 hours of liquids. This helped get the weight-loss train moving again. I’m now down 35 pounds! Just two months ago, I was terrified that I was going to reach the 300 lb mark
and now I’m almost less than 250 lbs! This is a BIG deal for me. So, things are looking up, and
my positive attitude is returning.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Once a food issue, always a food issue
 |
| Before surgery |
 |
| July 31, 2010 - One month after surgery |
Before surgery I had to have a psychiatric evaluation to make sure I was mentally stable for surgery. When I met with the psychiatrist he informed me that I passed on all the levels and was considered normal. I know someone out there is laughing and saying, “Yeah, right.”
Well, there was one little thing; I’m a touch obsessive compulsive. According to him, I am very organized and like to have things run according to schedule. I know, complete shocker. He said this made me an even better candidate for surgery. It actually has come in handy because I have to always be thinking and preparing for what I’m going to eat.
I’m doing everything right. I feel good. I notice a difference in my clothes. What’s the problem?
I am having a hard time with the weight loss thing. I lost 20lbs in two weeks on the pre-op diet, which means I’ve only lost a little more than 10lbs since surgery exactly a month ago. This is clearly in the recommended healthy range of 1 to 3lbs a week. I think I got used to losing some weight every single day and I get frustrated if I go a few days without any weight loss. Granted, I’m not supposed to weight myself daily, but I just can’t help it. I want to lose weight NOW!
I am also having issues giving myself a break sometimes. I know I’m not supposed to deprive myself, but I do. There were cupcakes at work on Thursday and it seriously took me 30 minutes to decide if I wanted to have even a ¼ of one. I ended up not giving in, which is huge because cupcakes are my dessert of choice. I am now so aware of the sugar, carbs and fat in everything that I am unable to give in. I convince myself that it will fill me with regret afterwards. I only like eating at places that I can research their nutrition information online. I like proving to myself that I don’t need a cupcake or other treats.
I try to only eat out once a week, and that is usually on Saturday nights. The plan all along was to approach this one meal as a reward for my week of hard work. Go out without researching nutrition information, and not worry about carbs or protein for just this one meal. I try to think of what I would want to eat if I could have anything in the world, but all I can think about are places and food that are lap-band friendly.
The decision tonight was Blue Coast Burrito. I knew I could get chicken and cheese on a wheat tortilla and be fine. I also decided we would walk there and back. It worked out well until a storm came through preventing us from getting home for an hour. We went next door to a yogurt store where they let you get your own amounts and toppings. I got a small amount of no sugar added, low fat, low carb yogurt. I felt good that I allowed myself a treat and it wasn’t that bad for me. Don’t think I didn’t look up the nutrition information as soon as we made the trek back home, though.
So, am I really normal? I think I am still new to this and doing the best I can. I’m a very results-driven person. I like to be told good job and prove that I can handle challenges. I think this is where my recent decisions come into play. I’ve also learned that most everybody has food issues. Whether it’s an obsession with eating right or ignoring the consequences of eating wrong, we’ve almost all found ourselves in a battle with food. This is all so new to me that I feel it’s best to do whatever makes me comfortable and still allows me to meet my goals. So, go easy on me if I hesitate before agreeing to eat out or seem to obsess over a cupcake. Don’t worry about me. I’m very aware that I could take weight-loss too far, and am always working with my dietician to make good healthy decisions. I will eventually learn and things will get easier.
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